During my freshmen and sophomore years at the University of Georgia, I experienced something that I had not had since I was about six years old. I actually had white friends.

I did not realize it at the time, but I had basically grown up without having any “intimate” relationships with any white people. Yes, I had white acquaintances, and at different periods in my life, I lived in predominately white communities (as in less than five black families), but my close friends have been at least part black.

Looking back, I ask myself, “Why did I develop a couple of friendships with white guys?” I guess these relationships just happened. Because the residence halls had been overbooked, I ended up being housed in the study with five white men. Of course I was skeptical at first-being raised throughout the Midwest and northeast. I was somewhat uncomfortable being the sole black man in the midst of five white southerners.

After about three weeks, Keith Johnson and I were the only ones that remained. Keith was a senior. He was from some small town in Georgia, and if you heard him speak you would know that he was born and raised in the South. But, Keith and I became friends while he was there. We discussed our respective love lives, went out for a bite to eat, and did all the things that friends do. I remember accompanying him to the campus health center when he was in so much pain that he cried. Kidney stones will make even the toughest man shed tears.

Keith and I were eventually assigned rooms, and I ended up moving into a room with Chuck Langley. Chuck was a junior and a pre-med student at the time. He was very smart, the son of a professor, and must have been kin to Don Juan because women loved him. Chuck introduced me to some of the popular hangouts, jazz and new age music (that I prefer to this day).

Ultimately, both of these friendships faded away as we all moved on with our own lives and personal agendas. Like many others, we failed to value keeping in touch. But, I still have fond memories of Keith and Chuck. I trust, hope and pray that they are doing well.

I have given you a glimpse of my past to show all of us, black and white, that we can get along. If we just simply look past skin color, we will find that we have similar interests, hopes and fears. Although our cultural experiences and perspectives may be different, we have many of the same issues in common. Everyone, regardless of skin color, wants to live a good life, be a productive member of society, and have real opportunities to realize a dream. Ironically, we probably have more things in common than differences. Unfortunately, one of the things that we definitely have in common is our apathy and/or unwillingness to initiate and develop friendships with someone who has a different skin color. Keith, Chuck and I took the extra step. Our friendships were allowed to evolve naturally. It was within this purity, that all of our lives were enriched. This enrichment supports my belief that one day a man truly will be judged by “the content of his character, and not the color of his skin,” as envisioned by Dr. Martin Luther King.

I am sure that we have all heard, and probably agree with on some level, that black Americans will not stick together.  In fact, blacks will often hold one another back before they will help one another.

Do we not all wonder why other non-Caucasian ethnic groups can come and prosper in America where blacks have been “free” for decades?   Why can’t blacks pool their resources and imitate the success of others?   The easy answer is that other ethnic groups did not suffer from the horror and utter dehumanization of America’s slave trade.   I realize that many people from other ethnic groups have come of their own free will, while blacks were bought and brought to America in chains.  Yes, the institution of slavery has had a profound effect on the black community within the United States.  In some respects, even amidst the modest success that blacks are experiencing, it appears that the state of many black neighborhoods, as well as the black state of mind is deteriorating.

The lack of black unity, and blacks’ inability to manifest their own self-determination would shock many of America’s black predecessors.  Many would be appalled by blacks’ willingness to covet and adopt the values of a society that was birthed on the basis of shameless exploitation and imperialism. Frederick Douglass, Booker T. Washington, and even Martin Luther King would probably be surprised by the great economic success of black businessmen, entertainers and athletes?  But they would also be mortified to see countless blacks still on public assistance, hanging on the street corner, or on the Jerry Springer Show portraying a lack of morality and/or pride while seemingly embracing enthusiastic ignorance and buffoonery?  But, what would probably trouble them most is the increasing disparity between blacks that are “successful,” and those existing in socioeconomic desperation.

Until the 1970s, black unity and focus were omnipresent within the black community.  All blacks had common struggles and goals, and united to achieve greater objectives.  Today, blacks have plenty of the same struggles, but many are too ignorant to realize it.  Many have duped themselves into believing that they have “arrived,” while others within the black community are caught up in a cycle of self-victimization.

It is somewhat ironic that once some blacks make great economic gains, they are all too willing to fraternize with the very people that would not give them the time of day if it were not for their economic clout.  Many of these same people seem to forget the black community and family in which they were raised.  Another subtle irony is that some of the people that live within these black communities can find ways to put their money together to buy a carton of Newports, a forty-ounce beer, a bottle of Cisco, or some “hippie lettuce.”  They then sit around and commiserate about how whites have held the black man down, and about how blacks who value discipline, education and hard work are sellouts to their race.  Ironically, they offer these critiques while they partake of the vices that that they have cooperated to purchase.  This example may seem ludicrous, but it is perhaps closer to the truth than not.

What some blacks do not realize is that they will always be black first, in the eyes of many whites (i.e., they are a nigger with money).  Their skin color summons the same images that many whites associate with all blacks.  Likewise, there are blacks that always cry racism, and are eager to label someone who is “about something” as a sellout.  These blacks seem unwilling to exercise the discipline and take the steps necessary to improve their condition while always volleying excuses.  They fail to realize that, in many ways, they are just as much the “sellouts” of their own black community as the people that refuse to give back.  In my opinion, both positions are morally bankrupt.

Let me use a variation of an analogy that my father told me when I was growing up.  He compared blacks that are unwilling to help one another to crabs in a bucket.  If one has seemingly made it to the top and is about to get out, the others—in their own desperation—pull him back down. Ironically, all of them are too ignorant to realize that with cooperation, they can all help to pull each other out of the bucket if they chain in black unity.  But, alas, in the end they are all cooked.

“Hip-hop has done more than any leader, politician, or anyone to improve race relations,” according to world famous rapper and business man, Jay-Z.  He reasoned that if white’s (particularly kids) thought that artists like Snoop Dogg were “cool”, then they would really not listen to their racist parents who teach racism in the home.  Of course many blacks, including myself, couldn’t disagree more with Jay-Z’s sentiments which may appear to be correct on the surface, but really ring hollow when scrutinizing the greater reality.

Let’s assume that Jay-Z is correct in his assertion that a white kid who likes Snoop Dogg and other black rappers would probably not give in to being racist because they listen to hip-hop.  Even if we assume this to be true, how can one ignore the more complex messages and images that are bolstering stereotypes and other negative ideas being entrenched within the impressionable young minds of white and black youth?  Perhaps Jay-Z doesn’t realize that many whites (and blacks) see hip-hop as the modern day minstrel shows which portray blacks as violent, immoral, irreverent, and disrespectful.  So, young whites could just as easily simply enjoy being entertained by what many people might consider as black buffoonery and ignorance.  At least the minstrel shows of old were pushed by whites, who even dressed up in black face themselves, but now it can be argued that rappers like Jay-Z are the primary pushers of negative images of black people in America.  Moreover, it is somewhat naive to believe that the majority of the white kids who listen to hip-hop today are going to hire their black hip-hop listening peers tomorrow, or even be in a positions of leadership to make those decisions, much less fraternize on a social level with people who they view as having questionable moral character due to images that they have envisioned from listening to famous (or infamous) hip-hop artists.  Does Jay-Z believe that some of the rappers who have created hip-hop music that contains racist lyrics or undertones are adding to the betterment of race relations?  There have reportedly been more than a few rappers who have spewed racist lyrics, and I don’t see that little fact flying over the heads of either whites or blacks. You can’t escape the fact that hip-hop reeks of negative images about black people, and this negativity affects blacks and whites alike.  Hip-Hop may help race relations in specific instances, but overall it can just as easily be viewed as breaking down, hindering, or at least furthering the status quo of race relations in America..  Jay-Z needs to look at all the dynamics and complexities of hip-hop and race relations before he asserts such simple and idealistic notions.

Hip-hop can never hope to do what Martin Luther King, Barack Obama, John Hope Franklin, Michelle Obama, and even leaders on a local level have achieved for race relations, as long as it glorifies values that many people, regardless of race, see as destructive.  Most black leaders who have knowledge about black American history, possess a deeper understanding of  race relations,  are more in tune with their spirituality, and are basically more analytical in their thinking realize that it’s going to take more than glorifying words about sex, violence, greed, signifying, and other dysfunctional behavior to truly improve race relations in this country.  Appealing to a sense of justice, fairness, basic humanity, and plain love, like King, the Obamas, Bill and Hillary Clinton, and others have done to have the greatest, positive impact upon race relations in America.  It has taken, and will continue to take, a concerted, focused effort to improve education, and other avenues of knowledge—words filled with wisdom that directly address the state of race relations—to improve race relations.